To the many of you that have been following my little escapades over the past seven years…this may not come as much of a shock to you. To the many more that really have no idea what I'm about and who I really am…I hope you enjoy this…and I hope it creeps the living hell out of you. Since 2004, my best friend and I have been vigorously investigating the paranormal because of separate incidents in our lives that pretty much made us both ‘obsessed’. We've investigated just about every local cemetery and claimed haunted house in our local area and even went as far as successfully influencing the powers that be that we deserved a night alone in Six Flags Over Texas to investigate claims of hauntings in the park that date all the way back to the 1960's! It's been a fun ride. However, in October of 2010 the two of us tied the knot and ceased to be business partners. We became husband and wife. One of the things I promised myself upon saying 'I do' was that I was going to be less of a careless adventurer and more of a husband over our first year of marriage…just to see if I could remember how 'normal people' lived. This meant that I wouldn’t be running crazily after every claimed haunting and every creepy cemetery that I came in contact with and no spending month after month pecking out another novel…at least until our one year anniversary in October 2011. As you can see per the title of this rant…it didn’t last. We were bored out of our freaking minds and eventually came to the conclusion that we could care less how normal people lived! After all…the two of us are far from being normal people and there is something about being all alone, miles away from civilization in the darkness, in places where some have claimed to experience pure hell. That feeling of isolation and terror…nothing can compare to it. Now that I’ve got the explanations out of the way…I can get to the meat and potatoes of this whole scenario. Next time…pay attention from the beginning and we won't have to backtrack?
So…over the past seven years, we've spent night after night in this beautiful country cemetery hoping to catch a glimpse of what some have called 'The Smoking Cowboy'. After all, I was informed by a member of the Money family a few years ago that they didn’t want their cemetery associated with 'people like us' so the 'Goat Man Legend' was out of the question. Dear mean people…bite me on my three published novels and get over yourself! In other words, the cowboy would have to suffice. Supposedly, three different people that have never spoken to one another have all witnessed the darkened figure of a cowboy smoking a cigarette in the darkness at a local grave yard that scared them to the point of pissing their pants and running away screaming. Sweet. Sounds like fun! I love pissing in my pants almost as much as I adore screaming and running! Where do I sign up for this? (Oh…by the way…I’m not going to make it public record which cemetery this is due to the fact that it’s vandalized enough as it is without some dumb ass kids looking for something to do on summer vacation and coming by and knocking over some headstones. I wouldn’t want adults going out there getting in trouble by the law either. I am the man…I have special privileges lol. If you really must know though…you can always beg me…) For seven long years, in between the countless other investigations that we’ve conducted, we’ve gone to this special place repeatedly with different team members in the hopes of flushing out this mythical figure. I discovered quickly that it wasn’t an urban legend because no one else I asked had ever heard of it before. These three people might’ve actually had a strange experience! We had to know. Investigation after investigation occurred there year after year with some of them producing little results and other’s causing head injuries. (For details…read Chad Miller’s ‘A Ghost Hunter’s Journal’ and ‘We Believe You…A Ghost Hunter’s Journal Continues’ – shameless plug) We never saw anything that resembled a cowboy…just headstones in the darkness and an occasional demonic shadow chasing you step for step. I wish I was kidding. Shortly after my six month absence due to nuptials…My new wife, an investigator in training by the name of Jake, and I journeyed towards the setting sun and an approaching storm to spend some quality time with an imaginary cowboy that has rudely never walked up to any of us and introduced himself. From the time we entered the cemetery gates, the three of us stumbled crazily like drunken pirates due to the fact that our equilibrium was unexplainably being affected. Was it the storm that was coming…or was something legitimately wrong with this place? After an hour had passed and the millionth lightning strike had struck…the three of us walked simultaneously towards a familiar grove of trees in the spacious cemetery fighting monotony. From about fifty yards away, my loving bride noticed the flicker of a match or lighter in the distance illuminating the dark of the gathered trees. Jokingly, I asked what the possibilities of it being the legendary cowboy was….especially since individuals had followed us there in the past wearing sheets with eye holes cut out. Oddly enough, we all almost witnessed a real ghost that day because I rarely travel into dark and creepy places without a .357 on my side. Call me funny…but it would’ve been convenient to kill one of my friends in the middle of a cemetery. Think before you do, ladies and gentlemen…think before you do. Granted, it was funny after about an hour had passed but I had never been so angry in my life. This time, no one knew we were coming and unfortunately I had left the gun at home. As we drew closer, the three of us stopped dead in our tracks in unison. I didn’t even have to ask if they saw it also. I could tell that they did by the quickened breathing. In the midst of the shadowed trees stood a figure in the darkness sporting the brim of a cowboy hat where its head should’ve been. Six feet tall at least, we stood at the ready for anything…not daring to cross the threshold of the trees. Immediately, the electromagnetic frequency detector in my hand began to react violently proving that a paranormal event was indeed at hand…or the shadowy figure in the darkness had a powerful cell phone. (Before anyone says anything…our cell phones were off. This wasn’t our first rodeo.) Tired of the standoff…I moved in for the kill, so to speak, and the figure immediately darted into the darkness. With the feeling now back to my legs and our blood pumping madly, I gave chase to the next set of trees in hopes of viewing the phenomenon again. Unbeknownst to me…my darling bride that had stayed behind had been overwhelmed by a feeling of unseen force and her body slumped to the ground. Sitting there in a daze, a figure hovered over her victoriously at his deception but vanished once again at the approach of our trainee. After everything was over, she described the feeling to me as being that of ultimate sadness and hopelessness. For the first time in ages, she was legitimately frightened. Honestly, so was I. Unprepared from our absence of investigating and without the majority of our equipment to record the scenario…we exited the cemetery for safety reasons in order to regroup and research. Back in the comfort of home, with only our own ‘well known inside and out’ ghost to bother us, I thought to myself that there was no way whatsoever that I would’ve made it through an entire year without putting myself or someone I care about in a precarious or dangerous situation and been able to live with myself. This is who we are and what we do. Why deny ourselves what we consider to be normalcy? Just because the ones that persecute and point fingers at us can’t fathom the opportunity of being in the presence of something amazing doesn’t agree with what we do isn’t a good enough reason to be someone that I’m not. Actually, the majority of them do wish for these feelings…they just give it another name to make themselves feel better and be viewed as ‘normal’ through the eyes of the judging public. I’m sure that soon, every single one of them will venture out to experience the grandeur of the Great White Buffalo that was born just outside of my hometown that is supposed to signal the beginning of the end of days. Guess what, ladies and gentlemen? That IS a paranormal experience by true definition of the word…whether you like it or not. Hell…our smoking cowboy doesn’t even have a movie deal yet and the damn buffalo has two of them! From now on…you be ‘you’ and I’ll be ‘me’. Give me ghosts any day. Ghost shit is much easier to clean than buffalo. I’m sure of it.
