1/2/13

1-2-13 – For two weeks now, I have shut up completely for the sake of peace on Earth and good will towards all living things…but the silence is finally broken. This is going to feel wonderful. See…if I don’t let off a little steam on a weekly basis through the power of the spoken word, I have a tendency to get a little cranky. This morning was no exception. Today is my middle daughter’s 17 birthday and, in all fairness to the fact that a child of mine has survived this long, I should be as happy as a whore on holiday! I’m not. You see…just after Thanksgiving, my wife was let go from her job because she is a little too ‘tan year round’ for their liking. A large chunk of her heritage is Lebanese and, to most of the narrow minded residents of my hometown, that just happens to scream ‘potential terrorist’ in their feeble little minds. Eventually, there are only so many Sand Nigger, Towel Head, and Camel Jockey jokes a person can take before they develop a defensive attitude. She was fired because they said she had ‘an attitude’! Go figure! They caused it! After many weeks of Britain Chevrolet of Greenville, Tx fighting her unemployment claims, my wife was finally successful in obtaining benefits because the liberal state workers of Austin saw things from her perspective, saw the vehicle dealership as the racist bastards that they truly are, and shot a little money in her direction. Whatever…it’s in the past. Moving forward! Being the kind of guy that prides himself on paying his bills on time for several years, I phoned our auto financial company to see if there was a small amount of assistance they could offer while our finances fell into place. They jumped at the change to assist us! Neato Torpedo! Things are going nice, right? Not at all. Ever since I took the initiative to ‘do the right thing’, I have been receiving phone calls from their contact center wanting to know when I was going to catch up on my car payments. Wait a second…weren’t you guys the ones that lay claim to the payment agreement? Why don’t you tell me! Unfortunately, robots have no sense of humor or the ability to process sarcasm so I have to continually explain the scenario to the point of yelling on a daily basis. Not only do people from India not have a very good grasp on the English language…they also have no sense of American holidays and the fact that the U.S. Postal service fails to work on such days. Was Britain Chevrolet actually right in displaying their irritation with ‘the tan folk’? Absolutely not…and I don’t plan on going home to beat the wife for being of similar creation. What my problem is…is the fact that an American financial institution has chosen to yet again take potential jobs away from this country in order to get cheaper labor costs. In the end, they are getting exactly what they are paying for! Somewhere in this crazy world of ours is a pool full of individuals that barely have a grasp on the language that you and I speak…yet they are calling us at the most inopportune times to discuss our financial situation and at the hands of Google Translate! This country is inevitably doomed and, as far as I’m concerned, good riddance! It is not the narrow minded simpletons of the southern part of the United States that should have a problem with people of the darker persuasion…it should be the other way around. For my few decades of living, I have been bombarded with nightly visions of our troops invading their lands, trying to change their religions, stealing their resources, and murdering their people…all in the name of ‘democracy’…which is another myth in itself! We can save that for a different rant, however. The more I truly sit and think on the situation, I should allow this foreign call center to phone me daily and allow them to be clueless to my intentions. I’m sure the guy is taking pride in his meager job and feeling a little better about himself for every minute that he gets to disturb a Lindsay Lohan, a Honey Boo Boo, or a Snooki. After all…that is how they see us. When a redneck runs into an Indian person…they make a Gandhi joke. When they run into a person of Middle Eastern decent, like my wife, they snicker a Bin Laden comment or two underneath their breath or behind their backs. In my opinion…it is only fair that when my morning nemesis calls me to repeatedly inquire about my car payment, that he should have a good laugh with his coworkers after we hang up because he gave ‘Charlie Sheen’ a hard time before he could have his second Red Bull of the morning. We relate those people to the icons that the media force feeds us…and so do they. While some of them probably had a meal this morning, the first in a few days, they think that their calling superficial, jerk Americans like ‘that Donald Trump guy’ that they saw on Access Hollywood last night…and he’s not making his car payment. Realizing this…I believe that a little bit of fun is in order at their expense. In the morning, my new Indian friend will be surprised to know that he is actually speaking with Justin Bieber. It’s these types of epic epiphanies that make me happy that the world didn’t end a few weeks ago…Howl Growl Snarl…