To begin things off, I’d like to tell a little story about why I’m doing this. Once upon a time, there was an editor of a newspaper that saw potential in a young writer. With three novels under his belt and his own monthly column in a magazine, he though he’d be perfect for a weekly rant column in the local publication. As luck would have it however, the editor left the organization and a new one took his place. Still riding on the promise from the previous editor, the young writer contacted the new editor with the hopes that he would keep the former editor’s promise. The response the writer got was ‘You’ll have to learn to write about something other than ghosts.’ And so I shall. Unfortunately for a lot of you, this week’s edition is of a local nature…so anyone who was hoping like crazy that I would go off on the President or something along those lines is going to be highly disappointed. Besides, that job comes open every four years and all citizens are more than welcomed to apply. The man is doing the best job he can do with the tools provided…which aren’t the sharpest ones in the shed. No, this weeks rant will be stuffed full of feelings for my local community and those that were elected to keep it safe. It would appear as though a certain individual no longer employed by our beloved law enforcement agency still has some sensitive feelings about his former employer. So, rather than just swallow his thorny pride and use it as a learning experience, he chooses to use his influence in the media to twist and turn certain events into scandalous wrongdoings. A group of men came to the aid of a coworker in dire need of assistance and somehow it was chewed up, swallowed, and then regurgitated into a story of abused manpower. When that didn’t work to his advantage, he chose to file suit against his former employer about being terminated for advertising the characteristics of a shady character amongst illuminated individuals. Now what you, my beloved reader, have to keep in mind is that there are always two, sometimes three, sides to every story and you have to take what is read here with a grain of salt and make up your own minds for yourselves. The one fact in this entire scenario is that there were accusations made against someone. Hint of the day children: If you don’t want to be accused of certain things…don’t put yourself in precarious situations where those certain things can be tied to you. Pretty easy, huh? What you don’t do is try to be a superman, keep things to yourself, and use the information for personal gain because you have a personal vendetta against the accused. Now…when this falls through, and it more than likely will, what’s next? Are we going to see stories in the media of the man in charge taking your bicycle as a child or stealing your girlfriend at the high school prom? Where do we draw the line and stop listening to you ‘cry wolf’…for lack of better terminology? Why can’t you come clean and be honest? Why don’t you admit that you have political aspirations within this county and you want a head start on the mud slinging? Oh…wait…you revealed to us two years ago that you had political aspirations within this county…and the people showed you in one giant voice that they didn’t so much as want you operating an ice cream truck. So…what do you do now? You find other people that were battered and bruised in the last election, band together, and back another potential candidate! We’ve got it all figured out so…the time for lies and deceit and under the table backstabbing are over. Be honest…or do we have to wait for the campaign signs? I hate cliffhangers! Better yet…why don’t you disguise your voice, call the media, claim that you were abducted by aliens and…when everyone is looking ‘up’…you can run off to Canada! Granted…it’s not the best of exit strategies but it seems to work for possible murder suspects. Kill a man, have someone contact the media stating that the suspect killed himself, and run away as fast as you can while everyone is searching for your body! Brilliance at it’s finest and I plan on using it myself someday. Until then…I shall end this on the coat tails of a dirty limerick…since this week’s subject is definitely not worthy of my finest poetry.
There once was a guy named _ _ _ _ _
He was constantly moaning and cryin’
Advertising his knob
He’s now lost his job
But you can’t blame the poor guy for tryin’
“Advertising his knob” is sophisticated talk for “being a dick”. FYI
Until next time…keep believing – Hometown Outcasts
There…was that un-ghostly enough for you?
No comments:
Post a Comment