This Is Going To Hurt A Little...

This is going to hurt a little…

I hesitated repeatedly this week in writing a rant because I couldn’t quite put my finger on a subject. There were way too many to choose from. This has been one of the worst couple of weeks for my lovely wife and me in recent memory and, in just the period of those few days, I gained enough rant material to last for the next six months easily. Why focus on the negative though? Why let this stuff fester and build inside of me? Negativity begets negativity. It’s true on the physical plane as well as the mental. If you don’t believe me…check out The Secret. Does it work? Who knows…but the ones that initiated it into society are now multi billionaires and there’s nothing at all negative about that. To surprise the few that have adopted it’s principals without fully researching it…welcome to the world of witchcraft! Positive reinforcement and mental visualization to effect change on the physical level has been an every day practice in the Pagan belief system since the dawn of mankind! Gotta love marketing. I dare you to run off and tell your preacher that 'The Secret' works for you! Please tell me when you do so I can be present to watch him burn you at the stake!
The negative streak of no return started a couple of weeks ago when a friend of mine attempted to take her own life and was nearly successful. Before this…I had always preached to the masses that would listen about being the master of your own destiny and how people should be allowed to end it all if they so chose to. It’s your life, right? Shouldn’t you be able to do with it as you will as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else in the process? It’s funny how your belief system seems to break down in the face of someone you care about personally and I was very glad that a well timed friend intervened at the last minute and saved her life. This all occurred because she chooses to live a different lifestyle and views the world around her through alternative eyes compared to the local population. I guess there is only so much you can take and only so trapped you can feel before you begin searching for a quick escape from the persecution. Damn you, bullies of the world, for not only refusing to think outside of your meager boxes, but for stabbing every other box in the heart that lands nearest your perimeter. In our house are many boxes...and her’s is now safely hidden within it. You failed.
On the opposite side of the spectrum of popularity, another friend’s sixteen year old daughter was ejected from her vehicle after rolling over nearly a dozen times and was taken from our lives before she was ever allowed to recognize her potential or leave her mark upon this unforgiving world. She was heavily accepted by most, was a cheerleader, and played for her high school soft ball team…or at least that’s what the television news reported. Obviously, death knows no social boundaries but the media feeds off of them like sharks at a beachside Tampax commercial filming. Not that my ‘unpopular to the power’s that be’ friend would’ve accepted any media attention for her life being saved…but she was never offered. Don’t drink…don’t smoke…don’t do drugs…eat right…be heterosexual…go to church every Sunday…and die anyway. The angel of death cares not…but Fox News will love you for it. Where does it all end and who can you really trust? Your family? Definitely not. Your friends? Sometimes. The doctor? Hell no! Riding on the heels of the second weekly tragedy came a phone call from one of my wife’s life long friends that informed us she’d been misdiagnosed her entire life by doctors convincing her that she was a walking mental issue with a person wrapped around it and had now discovered the cause of her issues to be a fatal disease with the consequences (or blessing…depending on if you’re one of those ‘glass is half full’ kind of people) being only a few more months to enjoy what remains of our lovely planet. Thanks to the medical community for all of their hard work and hours of university classes for not being able to figure that one out. We have pills that can make an old man’s dick hard but can’t tell the difference between Lupus and a mental disorder. Now of course, at the time, these weren’t the only issues plaguing our minds. There was the pleasure of some vehicular problems that began with tires and ended nine separate parts later. There was also the tsunami in Japan and the ever growing threat of radiation poisoning that could possibly reach our family on the west coast from a few nuclear reactors gone crazy in the Pacific. Is it 2012 yet? Can I go now? I have a hall pass…
The last straw came when my first roommate after my divorce left this world and our hearts for greener carpets. His name was Gram and he was a ferret.(named as in Possession of a controlled substance, penalty group one, less than one gram…don’t ask me…my wife’s ex husband probably named him and he’s very knowledgeable in the way’s of the gram. Neat guy. If you subscribe to the local newspaper…you’re helping pay his salary. Thank you for supporting your local drug traffickers) For ten years (three past his life expectancy) he hopped around, played with us, killed our Love Bird, brought us joy, endured cancer, left little ‘gram mines’ on the carpets, terrorized our cats, but most importantly…made us laugh and smile more than most human beings we know. After two weeks of being surrounded by nearly self inflicted death, accidental death, and looming death…I chose to cause death in the eyes of suffering. Now you may be asking yourself right about now…”Chad…you’ve been investigating the paranormal for seven years now…doesn’t that make you a little ‘preoccupied’ with death?” Yes, I answer you…yes it does…but at my discretion. I have the ability to choose when and where to surround myself with it and when to shake it off of my shoulders. When it’s forced upon you though, I believe that your shoulder’s are only so broad and some well deserved light needs to peek in ever so slightly through the darkness to remind you that life is precious. With war and natural disasters running amok on the face of the planet…I’m glad I still have my friend, I wish that I could comfort an aching mother by bringing her daughter back, I wish that our friend’s disease could’ve been treated properly in a phase that could’ve prolonged her life, and I wish that I was still accidentally stepping in tiny piles of ferret crap that I couldn’t detect in the middle of the night because the cute little guy took pride in strategically placing them just outside of my bedroom door. If ever I needed any dark influence to finish writing the ‘A Taste of Home’ sequel…I think I have it. I know this rant is all over the place and nowhere near the best one I’ve ever written…but I needed an outlet for a few minutes to get some things ejected from my soul. Did it work? Not at all. I need a hug…or a wall to punch holes in…whichever I come in contact with first. Don’t worry, honey, I promise I won’t confuse the two. Summing it all up…Screw people that hate other’s because they’re different…screw the state government for not upping the driver’s license age…screw doctors that look for an easy way out and prescribe medications because they get a cut back from pharmaceutical companies…screw automobile companies for being greedy bastards…screw Japanese engineers for killing our environment and placing deadly sources of energy on the banks of the most powerful and unpredictable force that resides on our planet aka the ocean…and screw pet store’s for selling cute little pieces of joy. Now, I'm sure it's plain to see why I waited so long to post this rant. It takes quite a while to accomplish this much 'screwing'...not to mention the chaffing that accompanies it. Until next time...spread light to all you find in darkness. You never know when the person found hiding there is someone you love or care about.